Im write stories, not profesional but tell me wat u think of first chapter wud u buy if if i publised and y?

Thats not too good to be honest, boring in fact. include more decription with interesting metaphors! but keep going and you will get beter, u definately need a more unique writing style to grip the reader. also most of the narrative is in dialect like "half seven", if the narrative voice is saying this it should be more formal.